If you're trying to get your boyfriend to make a commitment, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you can stop trying to manipulate, sweet talk or pressure him into proposing. The bad news is that there's nothing you can do to speed up the process.
Please keep in mind that this post is not intended for those who seeking help with a physically abusive relationship. If that is the case, then outside help should be sought immediately and someone who is able must intervene on your behalf. Disrespect in marriage can go both ways. Women can react to disrespect from their husbands in many ways.
Men and marriage — ever wonder what it takes to get the two together? If you're trying to get your boyfriend to make a commitment, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that you can stop trying to manipulate, sweet talk or pressure him into proposing. The bad news is that there's nothing you can do to speed up the process. That's not to say it'll never happen.
Men fall in love and get married every day. But men have their own biological clocks. When they're ready, they head down the aisle — but not a moment sooner. In the meantime, it's not possible to convince a commitment-phobic guy that you're the best thing that will ever happen to him — even if you are!
If you're anxious to get married, your best bet may be looking for someone who doesn't need convincing to get down on one knee.
The "Sex and the City" gang once compared a marriage-ready man to a taxi: At a certain point in his life, he becomes ready for commitment. His "available" light goes on and the next lady in his life gets the ring.
Luckily for us, it's not that hard to tell the difference between a man who's got the light on and one who's just driving around in the dark. Want some help? According to John Malloy, author of " Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others ", which details the of a survey of 2, men, the singles scene no longer appeals to a man who is ready to marry.
Malloy interviewed men from ages 17 to 70 who were about to marry; all admitted they felt increasingly out of place in the bars, pool halls and dance clubs that were once their favorite hangouts. Tina Tessina, Ph. Most men's priorities tend to be focused on winning financial security before having a family. If he's still struggling to pay his bills, he's not going to want to add the burden of supporting a wife.
To take it further, the man you're looking for is a grown-up—someone who can be counted on.
He's able to commit to a job, not to mention family and friends. On the romantic front, even if he's not ready to wed right away, he's at least able to discuss the concept of commitment.
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Carol Morgana Boca Raton matchmaker, observes, "He's ready for marriage when he stares longingly at kids and suggests you would have beautiful children. If your man isn't as straightforward, take a cue from John Malloy, who says, "Most men want to be young enough to teach their sons to fish and play ball and do the male-bonding thing. His research found that age can have a great effect on a man's attitude toward marriage.
Most college-educated men don't consider marriage as a serious possibility until age In fact, they enter a phase of high commitment between the ages of 28 and Men who've gone on to graduate school—doctors, lawyers, etc. But Malloy says that once a single man hits 37, the chances that he'll marry start to fade. And after his 43rd birthday, he'll probably remain a bachelor for life. Relationship expert April Masini, author of "Date Out of Your League", explains, "When a man is ready to become a husband — your husband — he starts acting like a husband.
For instance, he will make plans for the future, introduce you to his friends and family, and not only call you daily but want to tell you the details of his day and have a desire to hear about yours. Carol Morgan adds, "He's honest and open, and when you enter the room he doesn't immediately make his computer screen go black so you can't see what he's doing.
He'll even — gasp!
He'll also listen when you tell him that you're ready for marriage. Malloy says that the key finding in his book about men and marriage was this: "Seventy-three percent of the women coming out of marriage- bureaus with their future husbands told us that they put pressure on their man to get a proposal. In most cases, this pressure didn't involve an attempt to manipulate their man into marrying them but was simply a result of telling their man what they were feeling.
If you're not sure about your guy's intentions, take notice of the way he acts and, more importantly, the way he talks about your future. If he's making promises but hasn't delivered in a reasonable amount of time, or if he objects to any talk about your future at all, his prospects for becoming a groom are probably pretty grim. But don't just assume he's not ready.
Be direct with him and tell him how you feel. Then you'll know exactly where you stand. If he's not ready, he's not ready.
In that case, better to move on to a man who is. Who knows if he'll be flashy, but his "available" light will certainly sparkle. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Share this —.
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